Bringing feelings into friendship offers risks and rewards

The warmth of spring is only weeks away, the weather is beginning to brighten up, the days are becoming longer and less depressing. Those relationships that have borne those long cold nights are beginning to melt and single life is beginning to hit the seasons in which it’s cool to be alone. The thing is not every girl or guy wants to be alone nor do they want to be single. Trust me, I’ve heard the words, “Oh yea I am fine, I’m an independent woman” or the “I’m too much of a man to be tied down to one girl”.

My response to both of these statements is simple: so Michelle Obama is not an independent woman nor is Barack Obama man enough. I’m not mocking this logic in any way or form, I’m just stating that relationships don’t affect you in this way unless you allow them to. I feel that so many resort to this logic because they are afraid of being hurt, afraid of being taken advantage of, or because the one that they genuinely care about does not want them back. I feel that this has happened to everyone in his or her life; the feelings of hurt when that person you have feelings for doesn’t feel the same way about you.

The constant thought of this person being the best possible person for you and the possibility of offering the same feeling to them is one that at times is hard to let go. That’s the thing with relationships: they can always develop into so much more. You meet someone and there are times when there is “love” at first sight but at times there is someone who you meet and become friends with and as you get to know them you develop feelings. This occurs a lot with both males and females, then the relationship you have with this person becomes more complicated as your feelings grow.

At times this can cause someone to go almost insane because it’s tough to bring feelings into a friendship. A friendship that has already been set up as a “friendship”, not one that can become more intimate, can result in things at times getting awkward between the friends. Cause let’s be honest: feelings can help or kill a relationship, as things can get more and more complicated. The thing that I find interesting is the notion that you can’t date your friends or that you shouldn’t. Someone who will have your back, who cares about you, who will have your best interest in mind, those are the people who are your friends right?

Then why is it that a guy who you know you can trust and who would not hurt you is never given a chance, or even a thought of being that special person in your life? This has been something that has plagued me as far as relationships go, the lack of thought that is given to actually dating people who have our best interest rather than going to a club or party looking for someone that we believe will support us. I think this is why our relationships are flawed at the core, because we put our hearts in the hands of complete strangers.

Now don’t mistake me there are times when you want your friends just to be friends. The point that I want to make is that don’t write that guy or girl off who is your friend and may want to be more. I believe that if you enter into a relationship with one of your friends you should make it known that before you all were boyfriend/girlfriend, you were friends. I believe making that distinction will get the focus off of the aftermath of a not yet failed relationship and on to strengthening the relationship that currently exists. Next time a guy is into you don’t just write him off because he’s your friend because you may have found something genuinely special and you should hold on to them tight.

Until Next Time, Take Care.

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